private divinations

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What the F*ck is this?

Ah, divination.

The age old art of…well, a lot of potential things in this day and age, at least.

If you throw a rock on Twitter you’ll hit 12 mouthy cartomancers who will all give you different, strong-and-sure opinions about what, exactly, divination is for and all about.

Divination, to me, is another artform - that of storytelling and seeing constellations of patterns throughout time and space - aimed at clear + unapologetic witness and examination. There is a reason we have been called seers, no?

Divination is, ultimately, about being able to assess our lives and its potential consequences from a place beyond the narrow confines of just our self/selves.

The purpose of hiring a diviner (well, me) is to bring about clarity, focus, and action, all aimed in the direction of helping you fulfill your true will in the world (a.k.a., acquiring your wants and needs beyond the narrow strictures of capitalism and other layers of social oppression + conditioning that regularly attempt to disconnect you from your own discernment.)


What types of divination do you offer?

All consultations utilize whatever tools are required in order to answer your question thoroughly + appropriately (the usual suspects in my practice are: dice, dominos, Tarot, pendulum, Lenormand, playing cards, Lotería cards, oracle cards, shells, and runes) and are delivered via Zoom call (recorded by request) or emailed PDF, confidentially and with discretion.

Practical Consultation via Email - 1 question, $45 USD

  • Approach: Using the appropriate tools, I will answer 1 question, focusing on traditional fortune-telling and forecasting as well as delineating practical action steps to move your situation forward (if possible, sometimes things are what they are.)

  • Turnaround Time: Typically 7-10 business days. A report will be delivered to you discreetly via PDF.

Practical Consultation via Email - 3 questions, $75 USD

  • Approach: Using the appropriate tools, I will answer up to 3 questions, focusing on traditional fortune-telling and forecasting as well as delineating practical action steps to move your situation forward (if possible, sometimes things are what they are.)

  • Turnaround Time: Typically 7-10 business days. A report will be delivered to you discreetly via PDF.

Practical Consultation via Zoom/Phone - 60-75 minutes, $150 USD

  • PLEASE NOTE: These are not video calls, and will be recorded by request only.

  • Approach: Using the appropriate tools, we will discuss and explore as many questions as we can thoroughly (typically 3-4). I will focus on traditional fortune-telling and forecasting as well as delineating practical action steps to move your situation(s) forward (if possible, sometimes things are what they are.)

  • Turnaround Time: My next available appointment is usually available 2-3 weeks from time of inquiry. I schedule appointments Sunday, Monday, Thursday, and Friday, from 12 PM Central to 7 PM Central Time.

Magical + Practical Consultation via Email - 2 situations/goals, $200 USD

  • Approach: Like all of my divinations, this session includes use of multiple tools as needed for your specific question(s). I will engage fortune-telling methods, practical, material strategy, creative brainstorming, and self-reflection/introspection with the tools, with a focus on discerning out a clear practical + magical plan of action for you to take over the next 90 days to support + align with your intentions.

  • Turnaround Time: Typically 7-10 business days. A report will be delivered to you discreetly via PDF.

Magical + Practical Consultation via Zoom/Phone (Business/Career) - 60-75 minutes, $350 USD

  • PLEASE NOTE: This consultation is available for business, career, and financial matters _ONLY_. These are not video calls, and will be recorded by request only.

  • Approach: Like all of my divinations, this session includes use of multiple tools as needed for your specific question(s). I will engage fortune-telling methods, practical, material strategy, creative brainstorming, and self-reflection/introspection with the tools, with a focus on discerning out a clear practical + magical plan of action for you to take over the next 90 days to support + align with your intentions. It also includes offerings made to Juno in your name to support your goal(s) + offerings to your spirit guides & Elevated Ancestors. Your Zoom/phone call be will recorded by request only.

  • Turnaround Time: My next available appointment - due to the involvement of offerings, etc. - is usually available 3-4 weeks from the time of inquiry. I schedule appointments Sunday, Monday, Thursday, and Friday, from 12 PM Central to 7 PM Central Time.


Do you have a specialty and/or Things you will not consult on?

With 15 years under my belt as a diviner, 9 of those working as a professional, I have a particular affinity for business, career, and financial matters, keeping in mind that I am not a licensed financial advisor, etc.

I absolutely will not read on the following topics: romance & love (for people who are not in committed relationships), pregnancy/birth, death (except for persons who are terminally ill, and only in the capacity of helping a loved one prepare for their journey home), health/medical matters, spiritual mediumship, lottery/gambling, children (without the consent of a parent, and I will not invade their privacy.)


Is this practice evil and/or cavorting with leagues of evil?

Nope. I use only organic, free-range Ouija/spirit boards and gluten-free, vegan divination tools in my practice. My third eye is poppin’ and my pineal gland decalcified, as the hotep kids say.


How does scheduling work?

  1. Make A Decision - It’s super important that you consciously make a decision to ask the questions you want to ask from a clear, level-headed and preferably calm as possible place. If you are feeling any FOMO or feel pressured/coerced by me or this copy, please do not book a divination. Additionally, I encourage you to also be willing to receive whatever divination has to offer you, even if you disagree or I am a faulty vessel (happens.) I say this because I do not want to waste your time, the spirits’ time, or yours most of all.

  2. Fill Out The Inquiry Form - Pretty simple and straightforward. This form is used to help me understand your needs and to see if I am available/have the bandwidth to provider divinatory All information gathered is strictly confidential and delivered to an encrypted email.

  3. Pay For + Schedule Your Divination - If I have capacity + availability to perform your requested divination, I will either send you a Paypal invoice (Magical + Practical Consultations) or my Paypal.me Link (Practical Consultations) for you to send over your payment, along with a link to a client questionnaire to either send me your questions or to give me a brief rundown on your situation(s) before our call so I may prepare appropriately.

  4. Receive Your Divination - Once you’ve paid, I will get your divination on my calendar and bam, divination delivered to your digital door. We will either meet via Zoom (I will send you a G-Cal invite) or I will deliver unto you a PDF.


WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO KNOW?

  • Click here to peruse the testimonials and kind words about my talents & skills.

  • Rush turnaround time is available for an additional 100% of the base fee (i.e., a Practical + Magical Consultation via email would be $400 USD vs. $200 USD), with guaranteed scheduling/delivery within the next 7-10 business days.

  • Scheduling for Zoom/Phone consultations is available Monday-Saturday, 12 PM to 7 PM Central Time.

  • In the event I am unavailable or unable to work with you, I will make referrals to my trusted colleagues.

  • While I am sincere about the art and craft of my practice, I am obliged by the law to state that these are for entertainment and curio purposes only.

  • I only work with or read on persons over the age of 18, and I will not read for/about minor children without parental consent.

  • Divinations are NON-REFUNDABLE. You are paying for my time and expertise, not for a specific answer or result.

  • If you need to cancel & reschedule a Zoom/Phone consultation, you may do so up to 72 hours before your appointment without a penalty.

  • If you miss a Zoom/Phone consultation, you have 72 hours to reschedule with me. If you do not reschedule, I will cancel your appointment and refund 50% of your payment. Three no-shows and you’re out.

  • Please review my Code of Ethics and this entire page thoroughly before inquiring.


Inquire About scheduling a divination

What's your FULL NAME, friend? *
What's your FULL NAME, friend?
I hereby certify that I have carefully perused this sales page, know what I'm getting into, definitely want to book a divination if Alexis has availability, and will refrain from shooting the messenger if I am told something I *really* did not actually want to know or hear. I understand that Alexis is a human being who will do her best to deliver clear, compassionate, and thoughtful insight based on her skills of observation and storytelling, and that I am obliged to take full responsibility for any actions I take after I receive her wisdom + perspective. *