Also know as St. Expeditus, the tl;dr version of this story is that St. Expedite is - as his name implies! - the patron saint of urgent matters. He is a swift and effective Divine intercessor, worked with regularly in a number of folk magic traditions, including Hoodoo and New Orleans Voodoo (not to be confused with Haitian Vodou.)
While requests to him vary widely, he is best known for supporting remediating issues with one's finances (fast luck & money) esp. in emergency situations, as well as helping one quickly and smoothly navigate legal waters and red tape. I, personally, work with him to keep sales flowing, to give my magical work an extra va-voom, and to support my marketing & advertising efforts.
As a Jewish femme, a working relationship with a Saint may seem...a bit out of place? if you assume that a shared belief in Jesus of Nazareth as mashiach is required. While I may recite rosaries and speak invocations that touch on Mr. Jesus, I do so out of respect for how saints - venerable members of the Mighty Dead - wish to be addressed. The form & function of my work, and the form & function of my personal practice, can be two different things quite readily.
St. Expedite has done right by me & my communities on a frequent and regular basis over the years, and as a result, he has his own honored place in my home, and I regularly venerate him on behalf of myself and clients like you.
I maintain a personal/communal altar to St. Expedite where I present your short-term request/petition.
After you complete payment + the appropriate form, I will print, sign, and dress your petition, and add it to the mason jar I keep on his altar. Once a week, I make a very simple offering of a candle and some water, and petition the good saint to work on my client's behalf.
Once a month (around the 13th or so), I empty out this vessel of old petitions, say thank you for his service, and present him with offerings of thanksgiving -- (usually) sharing these photos with participants via email, directly, as well as through social media. This date can shift a bit due to my chronic illness, but the important thing is that the jar's petitions get emptied out every 30-45 days. Traditionally, when St. Expedite fulfills your request, you should honor and sing his praises somewhere publicly -- which I highly recommend -- but because this is a communal working, I take on this responsibility on your behalf.
The goal of this work is to share the benefit of my cultivated, long-standing relationship, in order to support you in pursuit of your goals and intentions.
Pricing for individual St. Expedite petitions is Pay What You Can, with recommendations for potential contributions based on the Green Bottle Model of Sliding Scale Pricing (click the image or this link to see the full-sized image).
Right Bottle - $1.00 - $10.00 USD
Middle Bottle - $10.00 - $15.00 USD
Left Bottle - $15.00+ USD
Oaths and sworn pacts are a common part of working magic, and I use this as a mechanism to protect my integrity and boundaries in my experience and in my service to the Divine.
PLEASE BE AWARE that participation in *all* of my spiritual service comes with an in-built promise to my spirits, wherein you swear to redistribute a (generous, whatever that feels like/means to you, amount...you'll know what it is, 'cause it should feel like a small squeeze!) portion of any financial cash benefit you feel you receive from this work directly to others who are marginalised and/or in need, both of communal care but also solidarity. DO NOT give to NPOs and NGOs that have means testing, or that don't contribute to community-directed initiatives that benefit people directly.
Breaking this oath with intentionality and malice will have consequences of unknown character, severity, and quantity, so please consider this rider -very- carefully before you work with me, because I am not responsible for any afflictions of bad luck and soured honor on your part.
Now, let’s talk about guarantees, reasonable risk, etc.
First and foremost: if you are feeling any sort of desperation, pressure, or coercion from me *or* any other influences, please do not sign up or inquire to work with me. This also applies to having to making a contribution you can’t afford on a credit card out of guilt/shame, or sending me a contribution when you’re down to a few dollars. I know it’s very tempting to take that leap of faith, but please, DO NOT buy into a rite or attempt to hire me if it’s going to put you in financial distress.
That’s not what these tools are for - they are meant to help improve your life, not make it more stressful! Signing up for any of my services under these conditions would not be good for me, and it definitely won’t be good for you, as that is not a prime zone for magic to work its, well, magic in, as it were.
Insofar as guarantees, I am legally obliged to say that this is a work of art and for entertainment purposes only. Which is true, it IS a work of art - performance art - and you are paying to support the art and for my wisdom, time, and experience, NOT for results. Any magical practitioner who makes representations to you of 100% accuracy, 100% guarantee, etc., is a liar and a fraud. That is deeply unethical as well as objectively cruel.
What I can say is that I agree with Gordon White of Runesoup: I, personally, believe magic works 100% of the time, it’s just a matter of whether or not, 1) It works well enough for you to notice a shift in probabilities (example: you do luck magic to win the lottery, but the odds are so astronomical that even if your working was a rousing success, it’s still not enough to generate a noticeable change!), and 2) It manifests a change in alignment with your desires and intentions, which is not fully within your control anyways. I share this so you understand what you’re signing up for, and that once you purchase a petition, it’s non-refundable, because you’re paying for art and time, which are things I can’t get or give back once they’ve manifested in the world through my work.
I work with clients of all backgrounds who are interested in exploring how magic can help them achieve their goals and aspirations, and I endeavour to work from the most grounded, realistic, and thoughtful frame possible in order to create the best containers possible for success. However, magic-for-hire offerings are COLLABORATIVE - while you might not have to do the magical bits, you very much have to invest yourself into the practical bits - so if you’re expecting this service to *snap* and fix all your problems for you, save us both the trouble, beloved.
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